Saturday, July 12, 2014

Struggling to love myself

As a girl/women I struggled with my own insecurities about myself. I worried about the freckles on my face, how my hair or makeup looked, what was cool to wear and how it fit me. I know it's something we all struggle with and learn to move past. God made us all unique in our own way and loves us. Coming to Christ, surrendering myself to Him and reading the bible has helped me move past some of the insecurities that consumed my thoughts. But the past few months have been extremely hard for me as drastic changes to my face were made...



Back in February things changed for me as a recent filling on one of my front teeth was done to close to the root of my tooth causing extreme pain, a swollen face and abscess. (You can read more about that story here.) After surgery my face swelled 10x's more and I was left with a missing front tooth. At first the only thing I was concerned about was the pain and swelling. The swelling came with a little discoloration to my face and trips to the store was embarrassing. Especially the trip we took to Walmart! Laila wasn't listening and Chad had yelled at her to behave or she was going to get a spanking. Everyone just starred as if Chad was abusive. As we walked out the doors I was waiting for someone to call the cops.

Weeks went by and the swelling went away. At first I didn't notice my tooth was missing because I had a straw like drain placed in front were my missing tooth was. Once that was removed the insecurities began to take over. While shopping at Target I would forget at times my tooth was missing and I'd smile at others walking by just trying to be friendly. Until I realized the look on their faces went from "hi" to "what in the world." They would even sometimes raise there eyebrows, quickly turn their head as if they didn't want to stare and some people would stare! When it was time to walk up to the checkers I would then try my best not to smile and if I did my mouth was closed. Trying not to be rude I would nod to their questions or answer them with my mouth almost closed. If they did get a glimpse of my missing tooth they would do as everyone else did. If someone just looked at me I assumed they were looking at my missing tooth. I became so consumed about what others thought.



After a few weeks I went to my new dentist for a retainer with a fake tooth to be made. It took some time to get use to but I wore it every time I went out. The only embarrassing thing is taking it out for meals. I've tried leaving it in but its hard to taste anything with it in. Now that I am pregnant its hard to wear because it makes my nausea worse. I don't even know whats worse having a missing tooth (front tooth) or feeling sick all the time? It's such a battle and I feel so UGLY at times. I'm not suppose to have a missing tooth! Family and friends say you can't tell it's missing but I know there just being kind, because I talk to myself in front of the mirror trying to see how I can talk without showing it.



Sense I have been sick and the nausea is worse when I wear the retainer I mainly keep it out. I'm slowly, VERY SLOWLY becoming ok with the fact I have a missing tooth. The ones closest to me know why it's missing. It's just so extremely hard to get use to the stares and thoughts that run through my head. I know it won't be missing forever but its one trial the Lord is using to help me love myself and love others without question. It doesn't matter why I have a missing tooth or why someone else doesn't look the same. We are all equal and God loves us no matter what. We are to love others in the same way. Love who you are because God made you perfect and love others the way God loves you!

Are you struggling to love yourself or others?

John 13:34-35 & 1 John 4:7-8


Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Recently Post: Baby Bump + Picking Out Names + 4th of July + A Wedding + An Upcoming Exciting New Trip

It's been a few days sense I've made myself sit down a do a blog post. So I thought I would check in before I go visit family this morning, sense I have a little free time. Lately The bump has been growing. I thought I felt a few movements around 14 weeks but I'm 15 weeks and a few days and haven't felt anything recently. Maybe this means I have a mellow baby growing. Which this mama wouldn't mind. Laila's in her crazy toddler stage so having a mellow baby to level the house out would be a dream. 


Picking out names has been quite a chore sense daddy doesn't like this mama's strange unique names. I have been looking through a huge name book asking Chad "how do you say that?" With his reply "if you can't pronounce it how do you think anyone else will be able to?" I'm just a horrible reader and that's why I can't pronounce anything, I'm sure other people would get it. He likes more simple names and I like a few he likes but I'm not in LOVE with them yet. Probably because I'm confused on feeling like its a boy or girl. I feel it could be a boy because I'm super exhausted and not as sick with this pregnancy as I was with Laila, but I'm still sick so I feel it's a girl.


We enjoyed ice cream and fireworks on the fourth as well as many other families. Thank God we live in the land of the free. So thankful to all the men and women that have risked there lives for us! 


My mama got married and we added 3 amazing men to our family. I'm very thankful she is happy and thankful to have 2 new sweet brothers. 



AND..... LoveSparklePretty and Laila's Charming Pieces will be heading to San Fran July 16-19 for a marketing course on CreativeLIVE. Which we're super excited about! I can't wait to fill my brain with three days of marketing info and apply it to my shop. 


What have you been up to lately???



Wednesday, July 2, 2014

How we told our families

We waited a few days to tell our families. It was actually close to Easter and I had seen a friends on IG post a picture of an egg that had a note inside that read "And then there were 3..." I loved the egg idea, especially sense Easter was right around the corner. We didn't have time to order them pre-made on Etsy so I had to do a little DIY myself. Luckily in high school I did a product at school on how to hollow an egg.

I hollowed some eggs out and painted them, then add a little note that said "We're Pregnant." on the inside. Chad went fishing with his brother all day and I had my sister in law over. It was difficult to talk to her all day keeping this big secret not to mention my phone went off in front of her with the baby center app. (She said she assumed I never disabled the app from when I was pregnant with Laila.)

Later that night we gave Chads family the boxes with the eggs inside and told them it was a sneak peek into what there Christmas presents would be... (My due date is December 26, 2014!!) Needless to say they were excited, shocked and cried. We told my mom the next day I wanted to tell my family the same way and in person (My younger brother and sister were in school so they opened there eggs when they got home and called me all excited.)

How did you break the news to your family?

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Mom's Night Out, Dinner + Movie + Plus A Reminder On Difficult Nights.

A little over a week or so ago, my good friend Kayla and I made plans for dinner and a movie. She had been talking about the movie "Moms' night out" for quite some time and I was getting more anxious to want to see it. We left the babes with their dads and headed out for some Red Robin, YUM! Talked most of the time sense it had been over a month or so sense we got together to catch up, packed up our left overs and headed to the theater. Kayla was full but as you can see my growing belly needed more food, popcorn it was! I mean what pregnant woman could pass up a bag of theater popcorn? What person in general could pass up theater popcorn and a movie?


Kayla did help me a little with my popcorn, she couldn't resist the smell. The movie started and within the first 100 words I was nodding my head, thinking to myself... This is my life!
As the movie went on I found myself thinking that more, laughing super hard, and crying my eyes out! This movie is a must see for all moms!! It was so great to get to watch it with my great friend Kayla who I text at least once a week with a crazy story(Same goes for her she's always calling me with the next big mommy experience of the week) or when I am in serious need of a pep talk with lots of encouragement!


Thanks for a great much needed night out Kayla! I miss you dear friend and am so grateful for your friendship. I love how know one gets our crazy crafty addictions like each other. I am in need of another moms' night out though.


P.S : I have to add this in, more for a note to self and a reminder in the future for those hard nights... Last night we decided to try and put Laila in her own bed again with hopes to stick it out and get her sleeping in her bed before the next baby comes. Last night was awful!! I rocked her for an hour when she finally fell asleep I slowly moved her to her bed, only to wake her up. The crying started again and this time I just crawled in my bed to exhausted to fight. After a few trips to her room to calm her down and another hour and a half of her screaming she fell asleep. I struggle with the cry it out method and feel like a mean mom. 
But I know it's best for our family that I stick this out. Please be praying for me!
Luckily tonight was a HUGE blessing from the Lord! Within 5 minutes of rocking her she was out. I laid her in her bed and with hubby also sleeping, I was able to write this post. Thank you Jesus for nights like tonight, you know my heart better than I do and you know what a sweet refreshment this was and is for me! 
(If hubby wasn't sleeping next to me I'd probably be playing one of my all time favorites... Trace Adkins You're gonna miss this!)

Have you had any recent moms' night outs or are in need of one?




Saturday, June 21, 2014

Struggles For A Mama Of A Toddler + Another One On The Way.

Being a mom comes with a lot of ups and downs. Some days are full of ups, while others consist of many downs. I know the good days always out way the bad ones, but lately the bad days have been quite hard to overcome. I'm not sure if that has anything to do with me still in my first trimester or do to the fact I'm letting my 2 year old run the show. Do you ever feel that your kids are running the show around your home? Let me explain...

My daughters only vocabulary lately seems to consist of  snack, your welcome, I love you, outside, NO, your mean mom, go away or not nice. She also refuses to take naps most of the week(I'm lucky if I can rock her to sleep once or twice a week or if by chance we are running errands just maybe she will pass out for 30 mins). I have had such a lack of energy for the fits and I know that has a little to do with the pregnancy and absents of coffee in my system. (I MISS COFFEE! A LOT!!)


Another struggle lately is getting her to eat dinner. She would rather snack all day and night then eat dinner. I know I make the mistake of offering her snacks shortly after she declines dinner and I need to work on eliminating that, but it's so much easier not to fight her after a long day. I have also heard moms tell me it was so easy for them to keep there house clean with only one child and the more children they had the harder it is to keep there house clean. I'm terrified of this!! I can't keep my house clean with one child, how am I possibly going to manage cleaning a house with two?

Laila throwing a fit out at dinner one night.
I think out of everything my biggest struggle is giving myself a break to be refreshed. I'm not sure why but I have this overwhelming guilt when it comes to thinking or planing a little time to myself. I feel like a failure that I can't handle my life all the time. I mean my whole life I wanted to be a wife and mom that stays home, takes care of her family and can do it all. I guess I have this vision of "Super Mom," but am having a hard time measuring up to her. That's probably because she doesn't exist.  Recently I went out for dinner and a movie with a good friend of mine, we watched "Moms night out" (Post will be up soon about our moms night out) It was an amazing movie, I wish instead of Frozen being replayed 100 million times that Moms night out could be playing!


What have been some of your mommy struggles? 

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Blessings and struggles that have kept me off the blog and out of the craft room

The news you've all been waiting for... We're PREGNANT!!!

What a blessing it was when we find out.  We actually weren't expecting it to happen so soon. Laila took approximately 5 months and this little baby took less than a month. My cycles at the time were only 18 days apart, instead of the normal 21 days. We were going to wait to take a test(I made the mistake with Laila getting so excited every time it came close to my cycles that I would get test crazy, then become disappointed with the negative response to find I would start my cycle directly after taking the test. What a waste, right.) but we were already at Walmart and my boobs had been killing me(That was the signature sign with Laila that I was pregnant.). Once we got home Chad insisted I take the test, I didn't even get a chance to lay the test on the counter before he said "Your Pregnant!" I said "No, I'm not." He keep saying "Ya, ya you are! That didn't take long!" I got up and looked for myself and was just as surprised as Chad was on how quickly we got pregnant.

Pregnancy is such a blessing and I'm so thankful the Lord has chose us to be parents of another beautiful gift from him. Although pregnancy is a beautiful experience, it is difficult.  I struggled with morning sickness my whole pregnancy with Laila and was on Zofran twice a day to help make it possible for me to keep food and water down. This pregnancy I struggle with morning sickness and am taking Zofran to help. I am grateful that this pregnancy isn't as hard as Laila's. I get sick in the morning, take my pill, take it easy and slowly eat a granola bar. Once I start feeling better its a good day, until right before bed the nausea sets in again.

Running after a toddler definitely makes for an over exhausted mama that wants to turn in for the night at 7:30-8. Which is sad because I use to stay up until 2 a.m. or at least the days I turn in early I'm able to get up at 5 a.m. to blog, craft or clean. Seems like no matter how much I sleep I still lay around the house to tired to do ANYTHING! This pregnancy is easier in some ways and in others a little more difficult. To be honest I completely forgot about the morning sickness, exhaustion, and not to mention I didn't take into count how much harder it would be to chase a toddler pregnant.

I have been waiting to post about the pregnancy until after my first trimester and first ultrasound. Yesterday we got up and got ready for our ultrasound appt. I am being seen by the Midwifes again for this pregnancy, I just loved how caring they were during my pregnancy with Laila. So the midwifes made my appt for the ultrasound for me. Chad, Laila and I waited to be called back. Once they called us back we all got up to go in and the lady said "no children are aloud." I said "really?" (We were the only people in the whole office.) They made Chad sit in the waiting room with Laila while I went back. I asked the lady "Even if he holds her he can't stand in the room?" she replied right away with a "No." I sat on the bed and the ultrasound tech came in "How are you?" I replied "I could be better!" She added in "I'm sorry, we've had kids damage the offices in the past." I told her "I understand, but I had no idea I could have got a sitter. I made him call off work just to be here." and that's when the tears started. Writing this I'm still upset and holding back tears. I mean I could understand if I came in with a bunch of kids, my sister, my aunt, my cousins and the whole family but I came in with my husband and daughter that's 2 years old and easy to hold.

Anyways we got a few photo's and are excited to come back in 5 weeks (Laila with a sitter.) to find out the baby's gender.

Baby waving Hi or about to suck it's thumb..


I had to ask the ultrasound tech.. There's only one in there right? She assured me there was only one baby and I laughed because there were so many jokes about twins. 

I'm not sure what the baby was doing in this photo, probably stretching.



How did you work through morning sickness and exhaustion during your pregnancies? 


Sunday, June 15, 2014

Happy Father's Day Chad

This Father's Day was really exciting for Chad! 4 years ago Chad and I got married, things changed for us really quick as I moved in with him and his parents and we tried to figure out were our life together would take us. Living with parents isn't easy although it was a blessing to stay with them and save up a little before the real world hit us. At the time Chad had a credit card that got racked up with gas purchases to come see me daily, sometimes more than once a day and I lived a good 30-35 mins away one way! In order to pay off the credit card and start saving to move into our own place, he sold his dirt bike! To some that's not a big deal but to Chad it was HUGE! Sense he was 10 yrs old he had never been without a bike. I have always told him if by chance we hadn't meet he would have became pro. He always laughs and tells me I'm more important than that ever was to him.

Chad back in the day riding.
 You can the passion he has for riding when he's on the track.

After about a year of living with his parents we were able to find a small home to rent and we discovered moving out is nice but there are a lot of expenses. The paychecks would come in but the money was gone. Time passed and we found out Laila was on the way, we bought our first car, and before Laila turned 1 we bought our first home... Life just seemed to keep going and there wasn't any sign of a dirt bike in Chads future. These last few weeks Chad started talking about how much he misses riding and doing the math to see what we could afford. I was excited to hear that we could afford for him to get back into riding. I know how much he enjoys riding and wanted him to be able to enjoy that again. So he shopped around and discovered an unbelievable deal at Chaparral. He called around asking if any other shop could match or beat the price. One guy told him in his 17 years of selling bikes he had never seen a bike at that price and he couldn't come within 2,000 $$$ of that price!! Chad was then convinced he was getting a killer deal and made the purchase.

I wish you could have seen his face! Like a fat kid in a candy store, he was in heaven.
Although I think Laila wanted a bike more than Chad. She keep climbing on the bikes, trying on gear, and yelling through the store. 
When Chad came home with the bike he let her sit on it teaching her to make the sound bikes make. After a while he took her off the bike... She started screaming and crying "I want to ride!" 
 Needless to say this daddy is so EXCITED to buy her first bike next year and turn her into the next women pro. She's going to be one cute ballerina dancing, dirt bike riding little girl!

You know when you get a new toy you can't wait to open it up and play with it. Well that was this daddy, he tried on all his gear and made plans to go to the track the next morning.

Thank you Chad for being an amazing selfless provider, always putting your family first. I'm so thankful to be living life with my best friend and couldn't possibly ask for a more caring father. We are beyond blessed by you. Hope you love your new bike and Happy Father's Day!